A very late post from me. I had a fair few beauty post I have lined up to write at the moment but just haven't had the time and now it's 11.30pm I don't have the motivation either but still want to write. With C leaving me the early hours of this morning for a minimum of 6 weeks I found myself wanting to write about relationships! Beauty to resume next week!
Long distance relationships seem to be something I manage to get myself into. After the first one I said never again and here I am on my third one! They've been three very different relationships.
Ex 1 (G) I was with for 3 years. We broke up just before we graduated!
Ex 2 (A) I was again with for 3 years and we broke up last July. He's been mentioned in early blog posts!
The Current Dude (C)
All 3 were different types of long distance. G was while we were both at uni. During term time we saw each other for 1 weekend a month, he was in Liverpool and I was in Cardiff we couldn't find time for more. It worked for us. A I met as I finished uni which meant we were about to go separate ways. Things got rushed and for 9 months we saw each other every weekend meaning every other weekend meant 5 hours were spent on a train! C is a grown up long distance. His job means he's away from me for extended periods of anything between 2-10 weeks depending on the job.
me and G (facebook means old photos still exist!)
Hindsight truely is a wonderful thing!
The number one and most important thing in a long distance relationship (and any!) is trust! I can honestly say I've not had it before C! Both G and A's phone's I checked. Both of them I then found conversations with girls I wish I'd never seen! Trusting is never easy but if you are honest about the little things it helps! I think if you are with the write person you open up about things you never thought you would! A is a perfect example of this! C has been open about everything from the beginning from small to big things so I've never had a reason to doubt him.
For me once the trust is gone it's gone. I'm a fine one to talk as many times I've taken a cheater back! But you never truly get over it! (maybe that's just me!) From experience I've found distance makes it harder. You almost expect them to cheat again as they can get away with it. It's also harder to forgive and forget when you don't always see someone! I personally find it gets bought up in every argument!
Give yourself time to get over the ex. This is one I've only realised in the past year! My relationships tend to finally come to blows when in all honesty they should have ended months ago so I usually move straight onto a guy thinking I'm over the one before! The rebound for me never works. This time I took 6 months of dating. Being single for a significant period allows you to fully heal and be ready for the nest relationship!
Me and A he had an issue with photos hence why I could only find one with L in two! Who's lipstick I love in this. Need to find out the colour!
Onto more specifics for long distance! I always seem to here from people the following :
- absence makes the heart grow fonder
- you appreciate the time you have together more
- I'd love 6 weeks away from my other half
- you're a busy person anyways
None of these are in any way reassuring when all you want is a cwtch (I'm definitely almost Welsh now, plus cwtch is the best word!) after a crap day!
When you know your time together is limited and on a time scale be a little selfish and spend more time with your other half! Good friends will understand this but obviously don't take the piss and permanently ditch your friends just as your other half is back. They will be the one's who make the weeks pass quicker when they are away!
Find a way to communicate when they are away. C and I had satellite phone conversations when he was away last time (hopefully it'll be skype this time!). Satellite phones meant if I was lucky 2 calls a week. But on the other hand it meant we always had lots to talk about and you really look forward to those days.
Know how often you'll speak to them. Don't set unrealistic expectations. Whether it's uni or work your other half is away for not all their time can be for you! Agree how often you'll talk so you can learn to adjust! It's surprising how quickly you'll adjust. I tend to struggle for the first and last week he's away but the 4-8 in the middle are usually ok!
Only silly pictures of me and C seem to exist at the moment! Need to get him in on the selfie trend haha! I have a few more drunk photos of us but I look shit in them so they aren't going on haha!
Start a new hobbie. Evenings after work are the worst to spend on your own. I'm very much a gym bunny. This means I don't usually get home till 8.30 some nights. By the time you eat and stuff then it's time for bed! Don't leave loads of free time to miss them. See friends, if your skint go for walks with them or try your hand at a new hobbie! I've recently gotten into crafting!
If you miss them tell them! Sometimes when C is away even if he can't receive them till he gets back I email him. I find after a long day if I want to talk to him sending and email and writing it out makes me feel better even if I know he won't even read it for two weeks and probably won't reply as it'll be stuff we've already spoke about. I find emails and writing it down a lot easier!
Very random post from me! Hope there were some helpful tips in there somewhere. Mainly just a ramble for me!
Had to include this as I love it! L and I are both tall ladies! C is only 5 ft 10 and a half! I'm giving him the half as he is a smidge taller than me! He was teasing me all last night for posting this on fb! My response was to call him Tyrion! He'll learn I always win! Ha!